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I name my mind and throw it treats, hoping it will become tractable

from If This Is the End by Project Blackbird

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lyrics

every year it’s the same performance when i sit before the holy trinity / they test my “insight” and my current conformance; i.e. my acquired ability / to kick the ball through shifting goalposts, smile politely when they patronise / because i know when they say “be honest”, they’re not inviting me to speak my mind // (it makes me want to) / take drugs, get mad, abscond, be bad, just sleep / be loved, not judged, self- sabotage, repeat // they discuss my latest diagnoses, prescribe another programme of recovery / when they provoke me with the keys to liberty, i’m expected to feel nothing / they refuse to acknowledge that the system is broken and how it contributes to people getting “stuck” / the elephant in the room, institutional r-word? everyone knows they don’t give a - // (it makes me want to) / take drugs, get mad, abscond, be bad, just sleep / be loved, not judged, self-sabotage, repeat // (it makes me want to) / take drugs, get mad, abscond, be bad, just sleep / raise hell, not tell when something’s bothering me / fight back, change tack, question reality / take notes on those who keep taking notes on me / kick doors, stay calm, gnaw off my arm and scream / be held, get space, get out of this place, repeat

credits

from If This Is the End, released March 11, 2021
(Music: Roberts/Read / Lyrics: Nagel)

MING NAGEL – vocals / JON READ – keyboards, trumpet / ALAN ROBERTS – guitars / JAMIE VARLEY – Moog bass / DAVE TIDMARSH – drums / HARI TRIVEDI – tabla / LEE SPREADBURY – Moog Sub 37

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Project Blackbird England, UK

The "extraordinary" Project Blackbird, as BBC's Tom Robinson has called them, offer an atmospheric and genre-fluid listening experience that draws equally upon intellect and emotion. "Imagine a party at Ronnie Scott’s," one fan suggests, "where Sade, Björk, Jeff Beck, and David Byrne meet Portishead and then go for a late night curry to exchange ideas…sublime”. ... more

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