1. |
If this is the end
05:30
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here is the dark: a broken star / spiralling through the ground / your voice got left behind - how lost you are / none of the words you know come out / when the fear returns, don’t be afraid / if this is the end, begin. / and when you can start again, be wise, be brave / give what is yours, receive, be thankful / hold yourself close, and when you make mistakes / hold yourself close, just be. just be / constant as the sky that shelters you / steady as the stream that bears the sun / i hear your heart begin, your heart begin to sing / i hear your heart begin, your heart begin to sing / there’s meaning in the melody you breathe / there’s breathing in the melody you bring / i hear your heart begin, your heart begin to sing...
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2. |
Baby Giant
05:15
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body – freedom – fertile – mountain – presence / painted – magic – exiled – pagan – essence / golden – nimbus – flightless – whimsy – risen / swollen – pinioned – sacred – body – prison / ambrosian beauty
- femme fixation / frizzled omelette – liberation // B-A-B-Y G-I-A-N-T // broken – water – tender – barren – wisdom / seahorse – envy – lonely - body – prison / knowing voyeur – hesitation / tiny fingers – liberation // B-A-B-Y G-I-A-N-T // never chosen – her gestation / scarlet potion – liberation // B-A-B-Y G-I-A-N-T
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3. |
Murmuration
05:00
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like the footprints in the hall /and the view beyond the window / like the sea upon the sand / as it borrows and it lends / like the countries that you knew / that i promised you i'd go to / like the miles between the friends / who loved you as their kin // you're still here / you're still here... // like the hill you couldn't climb / without someone by your side / like the starlings when they sense / how to move within the dance / like the absence of your voice / as it echoes through the noise / of the ringing of your name / in that impossible refrain // you're still here...
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4. |
Laissons cela entre nous
05:02
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these are the hard pieces of me: fragmented dualities/ make something whole / that’s how we know to see what we believe / tell me the secret of this emptiness / tell me the stories from the fire / come a little bit closer, help me clean up this mess / and scavenge the truths i desire // je suis pas la femme attendue / faisant ce que j’aurais dû / je suis pas ton inconnue / t’aimant comme je n’aurais pas pu / laissons cela entre nous / laissons cela entre nous* / (and you’re already a ghost / something else is haunting you) // these are the soft pieces of me / taxidermied into silent fantasy / i’ll hold the pose – you write the prose / dry out my tongue, push it down / tell me the secret of this emptiness / tell me the stories that you burned / come a little bit closer, help me clean up this mess / i’ve been waiting for you to return // je suis pas la femme attendue...
* I am not the woman you expected / doing what I should have done / I am not your stranger / loving you as I couldn't do / leave this between us / leave this be between us
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5. |
The handle of the spade
05:08
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here where cherry blossom snow / garnishes a wall of hawthorn / here where roses turn to swans / this is where i lay my love down / my tears are running like rain / grieving for the one i have been / the times i never made a sound / even when i opened my mouth // this is how it ends / by using my own hands / grip the handle of the spade / and sharpen up its blade / as it plunges into stone again / with the echo of broken bones // tired of the cycle of fear / the insults whispered into my ear / followed by belligerent rage / false kindness and manipulation / where the wind blows without artifice / in pursuit of hares already lost / my love will surely not be missed / as springtime yields to winter’s frost // this is how it ends / by using my own hands / grip the handle of the spade / and dig a deeper grave / as it plunges into stone again / with the echo of broken bones // this is how it ends / by using my own hands / i grip the spade and then / plunge it into stone again
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6. |
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if there is aught that can release a better dawn / then let it shake these trees and sing / “action is eloquence” // sister, mother / father, brother / friend or stranger / we need each other /hands above your head where i can see / hands up, get down on your knees / hands above your head where i can see / hands up, get down on your knees // (shake these trees) / hey don’t touch me / i’m minding my own business
/ (shake these trees) / hey don’t touch me / hey don’t touch me / 'cause i’m down on my knees / got no weapon / just trying to get home / got no weapon on me // got my hands up and i’m on my knees / got
my hands up, i can’t breathe / got my hands up and i’m underneath / got them up but i can’t breathe // (shake these trees) / hey don't touch me / stop resisting / (shake these trees) / we can end this / stop resisting // muscle, blood, spit, bone - ambition, guilt, breath, brain / imagination, vulnerability, hope – weakness, rage, trust, pain / hustle, hatred, love - silence – so much fear / what makes us human? / and what makes us unspeakable?
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7. |
Indecision
03:57
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indecision - my patient and methodical friend / i guess you want to see me again / not sure if i should let you in / i envision you’ll seduce me with your hesitant charm / decelerate me ‘til i’m disarmed / give me time to reflect upon // i wrote this line a million times / don’t know why it hurts so much to make up my mind // a division cuts me straight along the here and the now - / you’ve paralysed my heart with doubt / relentlessly allegiant throughout this transition / from youthfulness and naiveté / to middle-aged anxiety (and the vacillations in between) // i rehearsed this life a million times / don’t know why i can’t commit to saying goodbye // talking to myself as I’m walking by the river / catch a glimpse of my reflection / as it shimmers, my mirror image shimmers within it / sunrays glimmer on my face and the waves distort my face in a way that makes me pray the sky ain’t the limit / happy feelings found me and surround me now I’m not living with it / used to drink rounds to drown sorrows / now I allow myself to buy what I like and sip it / a glass of ice with a double measure of any given spirit / drifting as fluidly as the newest beats / lip-synching as the music seems to speak to me more than the lyrics / incredibly it’s telling me that nothing’s finished / that bad attitude had to move, so I killed it / here’s to new beginnings: new starts, new suns, new stars / and how I’m gonna get used to living / and pray people get used to the difference // i wrote this line a million times / don’t know why i can’t commit and make up my mind / i rehearsed this life a million times / don’t know why it hurts so much to tell you goodbye
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8. |
The Archivist
02:50
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[Instrumental]
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9. |
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every year it’s the same performance when i sit before the holy trinity / they test my “insight” and my current conformance; i.e. my acquired ability / to kick the ball through shifting goalposts, smile politely when they patronise / because i know when they say “be honest”, they’re not inviting me to speak my mind // (it makes me want to) / take drugs, get mad, abscond, be bad, just sleep / be loved, not judged, self- sabotage, repeat // they discuss my latest diagnoses, prescribe another programme of recovery / when they provoke me with the keys to liberty, i’m expected to feel nothing / they refuse to acknowledge that the system is broken and how it contributes to people getting “stuck” / the elephant in the room, institutional r-word? everyone knows they don’t give a - // (it makes me want to) / take drugs, get mad, abscond, be bad, just sleep / be loved, not judged, self-sabotage, repeat // (it makes me want to) / take drugs, get mad, abscond, be bad, just sleep / raise hell, not tell when something’s bothering me / fight back, change tack, question reality / take notes on those who keep taking notes on me / kick doors, stay calm, gnaw off my arm and scream / be held, get space, get out of this place, repeat
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10. |
Ava my love
05:56
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she has woken / thoughts got broken / she’s soiled herself / looking for home / her eyes see no one / her mouth is woven / in a quavering line / like it is every time / “do you remember when i was younger? / flirting with strangers / oh, how i was ageless!” // ava my love / come with me now, back to your room / see how it’s dark / the only light is from the new moon // a nurse calls over / shuts the folder / “give her a doll - something to calm her” /“do you remember when i was younger? / counting my fingers / one for each taken” / / ava my love / those babies won’t know you at all / they are all grown / and you’ve lived ever so long / ava my love / here’s something to hold in your arms / and solder the days / until they all melt into one
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11. |
Speed of sound
05:37
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every night after the war / he says goodnight and shuts the door / pulls the blinds and dims the light / quietly prepares for flight / takes the suit with loving hands / steps inside its pressured limbs / curls himself into the tin - / a chrysalis, begins again // breathe in deep... take it slow // one (ten thousand feet)... ten (ten thousand feet)... // he rises through the atmosphere / the earth retreats, a souvenir / of something else he vaguely knows / and is not afraid of letting go / when it’s time, he spreads his arms / and tilts into the space beyond / he wonders why he doesn’t fall / but when he looks, the ship is gone // breathe in deep... take it slow // ten (ten thousand feet)...one (ten thousand feet)
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12. |
Letter no. 5
07:12
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my thoughts my words / my thoughts my words / my thoughts my words // my thoughts my words / my thoughts my words / my thoughts my words // we touch through screens / then clean our minds of it / no longer sure how to look into another person’s eyes // the spontaneous applause has long faded from our ears / there is a funeral / but the mourners stay at home / we all have our own little deaths to cradle // my thoughts my words / my thoughts my words / my thoughts my words / they deflagrate on the page - / my thoughts my words / my thoughts my words / my thoughts my words / they deflagrate on the page – // breathe / grip the feather / rebuild until the cool hand on your forehead / is just a fever dream – / where spores beget seeds / the verdant pastures begin to rejoice / and the sun still glitters on water / like a disco ball that no one sees
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13. |
Let love
04:51
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the woman in my dream stands barefoot in the garden / her auburn hair as wild as horse-clouds racing overhead / she doesn’t see me there / she’s looking in the water / at the wings of dragonflies flashing blue against the light / and i can hear her laugh though she makes no sound / and i can feel her touch through air / i want to take her hand and make her proud / of who i will become / so she will stay a little longer // “let love,” she speaks – / “let love be your blood / let love fly free / let love heal” // the drops against the window start to blur my image of her / like the shimmering of runes on a timeless wall of sleep / or the flickering of wings as blue becomes a rainstorm / and i turn away to find the softest chord shapes in her name / and i can hear her laugh though she makes no sound / and i can feel her touch through pain / i want to take her hand and make her proud / of who i will become / so she will stay a little longer //
“let love,” she speaks – / “let love be your blood / let love fly free / let love heal me”
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Project Blackbird England, UK
The "extraordinary" Project Blackbird, as BBC's Tom Robinson has called them, offer an atmospheric and genre-fluid listening experience that draws equally upon intellect and emotion. "Imagine a party at Ronnie Scott’s," one fan suggests, "where Sade, Björk, Jeff Beck, and David Byrne meet Portishead and then go for a late night curry to exchange ideas…sublime”. ... more
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